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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!"
Next Joke
"*spits out coffee* VERB IS A NOUN"
"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine... Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. /Jack Handy"
"I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though"
"An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good."
"Whos the coolest guy in hospital? The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy"
"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"
"A low pressure faucet and a penis with erectile dysfunction have a lot in common.... Both can still drain their liquids but neithers getting anything off"
"A woman with an abnormally hyperactive sex drive is called a nymphomaniac. A man with the same condition is called a man"
"Where do homeless people read about their friends deaths? In the hobobituaries"