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Joke of the Day
"What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd."
Next Joke
"What is Red and Smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint"
"What do Mexicans use to cut a pizza? Little Caesar's"
"""Daddy?"" ""Yes?"" ""What are you doing?"" ""Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."""
"There are some people walking around alive today, simply because I don't want to go to jail tomorrow."
"I was drinking a margarita at the bar.... And a woman screamed ""Does anyone know CPR?!"" I replied that i knew the whole alphabet, we laughed and laughed.....well except for one guy."
"How a girl insults another Girl1: In my hand is your virginity. Girl2: But there's nothing on your hand! Girl1: Exactly."
"Him: Can you believe what's going on in Egypt? Me: Yeah...it's crazy...I gotta go. Bye. Me: *googles what's happening in Egypt?*"
"How to emberass an acrchaeologist? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."
"the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO"