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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a little frog stuck in her throat."

"What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador!"

"How much did the critic tip the waiter? Two cents"

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"I didn't think a McDonald's Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did... OMG, I ATE THE TOY!"

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? Take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way!"

"You know what they say about banging on a camping trip... ...it's in tents!"

"What is the hardest part to eat in a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Arnold's new tell all book. Arnold Schwarzenegger just wrote a new tell all book because no one could understand his audio book."