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Joke of the Day

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band... I'd stand at the back and ting"

"I have a friend visiting from out of town. What's your fave place in LA to look at your phone??"

"I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures."

"What do my ex and a box of chocolate have in common? They kill my dog."

"How does a water bear sleep? It Hydronates"

"Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, everything in my life has changed. My phone number, my address, my name. Everything."

"Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don't even know it."

"What did the disappointed paraplegic say? I will not stand for this."

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral home it was a dead zone."

"Why do Jewish guys get circumcised? Because Jewish women love anything 10 percent off."