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Joke of the Day

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band... I'd stand at the back and ting"

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"a toast to wives...girlfriends and lovers... may they never meet..."

"A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are sitting in the first grade, who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18."

"Ever been so completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid."

"why does reddit love cats so much? because they give zero fucks"

"I sleep with all my cupboards opened so that when i bump into them while sleep walking im woken up abruptly"

"*daughter reading *son playing ipod *dog sleeping *house quiet *I go take a dump FISTFIGHT BREAKS OUT, DOG'S ON FIRE"

"My friend asked me if the new Star Wars movie was in 3D I said yes, but they R2D2"

"Why doesn't anyone let Trump go fishing with them anymore? He always takes the bait..."