34737

Joke of the Day

"I don't like to talk about masturbation. It's a touchy subject for me."

"My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true."

"The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board."

"If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north in which direction is the smoke blowing? There is no smoke from an electric train!"

"To do list:nn1) Kill the fly in my room. nn2) Try to snort multivitamins.nn3) Practice Hadouken in mirror.nn4) Kill the fly's loved ones."

"Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity. Power to the peep-hole!"

"If corporations are people then that's really gross because we walk inside of them all the time."

"How do angels greet each other? They say Halo."

"Do you know how do you spell Mississippi with one I? *Covers left eye* M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I"

"What started feminism? An unlocked kitchen door."