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Joke of the Day
"What's the best thing to come out of a penis? The wrinkles."
Next Joke
"I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'"
"I once saw a black man walking down the street carrying a tv... ...And i thought to myself ""huh, that one looks a lot like mine."" Then I remembered mine was at home, shining my shoes."
"What happened to the frog's illegally parked car? It got toad away"
"I've never grabbed less than fifteen napkins."
"Who called it ""the equals sign"" and not ""the aftermath""?"
"sitting is bad for u, but the standing desk is all wrong. i present to u... *unveils computer hanging from ceiling with a bed underneath it*"
"What do you with a crazy girl knocking on your door? You don't let her out."
"The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as ""famous."""
"Two tomatoes were sitting in a fridge... One tomato says to the other: 'Ain't it cold?' And the other replies: 'HOOOOOLY SHIT, A SPEAKING TOMATO!!!'"