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Joke of the Day

"Worst things the parents do on Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"

"What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord? A flat minor"

"What is the definition of ""making love""? Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her."

"what did president abe lincoln call his journal? ...his lincoln logs"

"The Golden Globe goes to... Burrito ... for best actor in a microwave, with a convincing performance of taking longer than necessary."

"Do you like fish sticks? Who are you? Kanye West?"

"They say money doesn't grow on trees But my cousin planted a few bushes with a funny smell in his wardrobe and is now making 4k a week"

"How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? By eating a Brownie."

"What do you call an engineer who looks at other people's shoes when walking? Extroverted"

"I tried to make a tiny blueberry pie But it ended up being a little tart."