206021

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between boogers and Brussels sprouts? Little kids will eat boogers."

"I like to listen to the Star Fox theme song to congratulate myself for having a successful string of social interactions"

"What's worse than a blowjob from Willie Nelson? That ain't Willie Nelson."

"I'm calling Facebook ""Mom"" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays."

"4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish."

"A man has been admitted to hospital after pushing 6 plastic horses up his anus. Doctors declared his condition as ""stable""."

"Why does the average person all the sudden become a tomato juice drinking weirdo on an airplane?"

"Confucius say... Difference between camping and being homeless is intent."

"How did the handyman feel after going to the bar? He was hammered."

"My brother's dying wish was to get a joke into the front page of reddit But it seems rude to post a photo of him now that he's dead."