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Joke of the Day

"I like to listen to the Star Fox theme song to congratulate myself for having a successful string of social interactions"

"If only Steve Irwin wore sun screen. He could have been protected from harmful rays."

"A lot of people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... Stephen Hawking disagrees."

"Why does Ganondorf hate the internet? There are too many links."

"Why do pigs run into trees? To shake out the alligators. I've never seen an alligator In a tree. That's because the pigs do such a good job."

"If you're a necrophiliac sadomasochist who enjoys beastiality... You may as well give it up, you're flogging a dead horse."

"MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, ""Bath time."" DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids"

"Did you guys see that documentary about the voice of Elmo? It's very ""touching""."

"My Doctor told me I had to stop masturbating. Apparently it was making it difficult to complete the exam."

"A shrinking man walks into a doctors office. The receptionist says, ""you'll have to be a little patient""."