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Joke of the Day

"People who say ""I hate to bother you"" need to learn to hate it a little bit more."

"Sorry about your street cred, black guys named Milton."

"Sometimes I wake up crabby. Sometimes I let her sleep in."

"Mother: A carrot is just a vegan hotdog. *son looks at carrot* Mother: [desperate] Bugs Bunny eats them! Son: This is updoc. Mother: What's-"

"""Let me be clear"" the sliding glass door said as I face planted it."

"[NSFW] Dad, I am a lesbian 1st Daughter:""Dad, I am a lesbian"" Dad; ""Oh okay!"" 2nd Daughter: ""I'm a lesbian too..."" Dad: ""Jesus Christ, does any one in this family love dicks?"" Son: ""I do."""

"So three Hahnium atoms walk into a bar, HA HA HA"

"I regret to inform you that I've had better lays from a bag of chips."

"You shouldn't commit any crimes after you marry someone. Why? Because you have a mother in law."

"What does Ebenezer Scrooge serve at his Christmas Party? Humburgers!"