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Joke of the Day

"Today I Called Shotgun... And the cop still put me in the backseat..."

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"What did the german with food allergies say? Gluten Nacht"
"Why did the H kill himself? Because the G had."
"What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want? They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east."
"Eating a rock is actually good for you. It's full of minerals!"
"A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community."
"If you don't like being a door mat....then get off the floor"
"They named a paint color after my ex... It's called *Whore Red*. It's not very bright, but its cheap and spreads easily."
"Tonight's flirtation brought to you by the letter Booze. It's a word? Whatever, man. I don't know algebra and shit."
"Everyone's an atheist until they're making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail"