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Joke of the Day

"With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?"

"Just thought of this burn Your dick is so small, when you piss it sounds like Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff."

"DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth's equator, most of them would drown."

"Did you hear about the man that threw a mineral at the cops? The police said it was a salt."

"I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish characters...talk in pauses...because they learned...how to speak English...by watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies."

"What do you call an astronaut who loves himself? A NASAccist!"

"I tried to download Ford Racing 2 today... It crashed."

"""Pick a pencil. Look at it. Now put it back with the other pencils. Was your pencil the number 2?""-Steve, shitty pencil magician"

"I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito... Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"