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Joke of the Day
"I like being handcuffed, but not plant heroin in my car, handcuffed."
Next Joke
"What would Ashley Tisdale have to do to become a boxing champion? Bop bop bop, bop to the top"
"Which is the worst hand to lose? The second one."
"I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs."
"Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, ""Lets find something for mature skin."" And then Security had to escort me."
"Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat."
"a termite walks into a bar And asks the waitress, is the bar tender here?"
"I've been dumped by my girlfriend... She found me creepy as I always had to have a name for my penis, oh well, guess I'll have to take Matters into my own hands now."
"Did you hear about the sequel to ""The Thing""? Turns out one of Jackie Chan's Relatives is directing it. His Uncle, I believe.   He's calling it ""ONE *MORE* THING!"""
"First guy to do anal was very popular... He was much sod after."