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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I show up to a funeral and another guy is wearing the same hot dog costume."

"Why can a nose not be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!"

"I don't like gears on a car, and I hate using them. They've just always looked shifty to me."

"Phoned up the local gym I phoned up the local gym and asked them if they could teach me the splits. They asked me how flexible I was. I said I can't make Tuesdays."

"Enough Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. Just kidding. He was there though."

"A redneck looks at a Mexican right in the eye and says, ""how does it feel to marry my ex wife and have my sloppy seconds?"" ""not bad,"" replies Juan,""after 2.5 inches deep she felt brand new"""

"Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow? The steaks are just too high."

"Shouldn't you pet him first? Two guys are in a park and see a dog licking it's nuts. First Guy: ""Damn I wish I could do that"" Second Guy: ""Shouldn't you pet him first?"""

"Don't get into an argument in an elevator it could escalate very quickly"

"What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail ? ""I feel like a kid again"""