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Joke of the Day

"Why can a nose not be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!"

"There should be a multi-event competition for finding out who the funniest people in the world are. We could call it the LOLympics."

"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes says, ""I think not,"" and vanishes."

"Those black cats better not cross my path. I'm not superstitious. Just racist."

"What does Arizona name Colorado? Border Collie"

"I saw an old couple sharing a newspaper and was like ""oh wow maybe marriage is cool"" and then the lady said ""STOP BREATHING ON ME"""

"You know who's a real motherfucker? Oedipus"

"What did the three-legged horse do when it started to rain? It ran to the unstable."

"I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper."