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Joke of the Day

"Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow? The steaks are just too high."

"What is the similarity between a porn-actress and Jesus? They're both getting nailed."

"Please take the smartphone away from your pets, they are spamming your Facebook with selfies."

"If you have time to check into a gas station on Foursquare, you have too much time on your hands"

"""Friends"" ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, ""me having friends"" ended long before that."

"Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father Luke: really? Darth Vader: yeah. Why? Luke: you have the voice of a heavyset black guy is all"

"Why did Minnie Mouse break-up with Mickey Mouse? Because he was fuckin' Goofy."

"If you're starting a sentence with ""not to sound like a bitch,"" guess what you're going to sound like."

"What's the worst thing about Mexican and Black jokes? Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"I need to get in shape. If I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle."