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Joke of the Day

"I can tell the way my kids inherited my sarcasm by the way I want to punch them in the face every time they use it."

"Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up"

"Masturbation should be considered a craft... as it is 100% hand made."

"Don't forget to insult random strangers on the internet today, morons. <3"

"What was the bridge player's political view? No-trump!"

"A girl goes to the doctor... A girl asks her doctor ""Are there many calories in sperm?"". Doc replies ""Look love, if you swallow, no one cares how fat you are!""."

"I have seen you with no filter, and I still adore you."

"*gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a convicted serial sex offender? Convicted"

"How did feminism start? Some guy forgot to lock the kitchen door"