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Joke of the Day
"Prankcalling the NSA like is my refrigerator running?"
Next Joke
"What did Helen Keller's friend say to her? (offensive) You should try blind dating."
"My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger."
"Why couldn't Caligula get anything passed in the Roman Senate? His horse kept casting too many neigh votes."
"The neighbors love it when I practice piano. They break my window to hear me better."
"How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb? None Enough light comes in through the glass ceiling"
"I need to pick up a random hunky guy in a bar, bring him home, have him invite a friend, and THEN mention that I need furniture rearranged"
"The 7 days of my week.....Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday"
"Hey, are you the bottom of my laptop? Because you're really hot and it's making me nervous."
"You know you spend way too much time on Twitter when your wife asks what you're doing online and ""porn"" is a better answer."