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Joke of the Day

"Do you remember the first ass you ever saw? I do, it spat in my face and almost kicked me in the head!"

"What do you get when you get in a fight with the Los Angeles Lakers lead point scorer? Kobe beef"

"What did the boys do ToGetHer? Roam And Tick things.."

"Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster."

"Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"When my dead English friend Nate pees on my newly grey-painted German grenades. My late mate Euro-nate urinated on my freshly greyed grenades, great!"

"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."

"What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula."

"apparently some people have been using wind to take the leaves from my frontyard and put them other places. they are still mine regardles"

"what's the strongest part of a vegetable? the wheel chair."