51100

Joke of the Day

"Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster."

"How does Voldemort seal his mail? With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)"

"I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado."

"Mom: Fred there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday and now there's only one. Why? Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one."

"""Well, you should have been more specific before I painted all these veins."" - designer of the Wienermobile"

"A blind person places hand over a grater ""Who wrote this crap?"""

"Would you tell me your street address, please? To which the Roman replied ""I Wood"" because he lived in the 1st house on Wood st."

"I hate tacos. -Said no Juan ever"

"The sandwich I ate for lunch reminded me of my dad.. gone."

"So I caught up with my mexican friend ..He told me that his wife give birth to their first son, just the other day. I said ""Jesus really?!"" He replied with ""Nah, his name's Jose."""