205517

Joke of the Day

"doctor: u are overweight me: hah yeah doc: ok drop your pants me: ur giving mixed messages doc! doc: me: doc: me: so do u like the Indians"

"How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a shitload of lightbulbs."

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"

"A nurse asks an absent-minded doctor, ""Doctor, why are you writing with a thermometer?"" The doctor looks down and says, ""God damnit. Now some asshole has my pen."""

"Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing."

"The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. Then things get tense."

"What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family"

"I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of"

"(.)(.) + $$ = ( . )( . )"

"God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught."