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Joke of the Day

"(.)(.) + $$ = ( . )( . )"

"I'm just gonna go ahead and change my boys names to ""Stop making that stupid noise"" and ""Where are your shoes?""."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"""Why can't I just eat the wax?"" ~me, when I can't open the cheese"

"Just took my girlfriend to the movies and now I'm $10,000 in debt."

"How do you make a protester cry? Tear gas"

"This morning I called work and told them I came down sick with Anal Glaucoma. And I couldn't see my ass making it in to work today."

"I assume people who don't hate people also don't drive."

"Donald Trump walks into an empty bar and says.. ""Am I the only joke here?"""

"I ran over someone and now there's a bunch of flowers where it happened. It's like, I came back to apologize, not be lavished with gifts"