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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A dictator."

"H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want your picture on the evening news to be a nice one? Me: Yep"

"What gun does Jesus hate the most? The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the /r/pka podcast"

"Lorena Bobbit has died in a tragic car accident. Some dick cut her off."

"Guy playing chess with his Central European lover ""Czech and mate"""

"I don't like vegetables, so somebody told me to get a juicer. It didn't help. That thing tasted worse than the vegetables."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew? Santa Claus goes down the chimney."

"So they told me I couldn't live in the gym but I told them... Squatters' rights."

"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."

"Why does a Jew moan when he has an orgasm? Because it has to come from his own sack (Joke might work better in Dutch, where 'zak' means both sack and pocket)"