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Joke of the Day

"H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want your picture on the evening news to be a nice one? Me: Yep"

"3 mods walk into a bar. [removed]"

"Im sick of people calling America ""the stupidest country in the world"" Personally, I think Europe is."

"A man goes to the doctor and says ""I've got a problem, I have 5 penises"" The doctor says ""Woow, how do your pants fit?"", he replies ""like a glove"""

"What do you call a teacher who doesn't flatulate in public. A private tutor. -Credits to my cousin ;)"

"how did the ghost get to the hospital? in the amBOOlance"

"My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it ""No air conditioning""."

"If children refuse to sleep during nap time... ...are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"There's nothing worse than getting bullied in school... Especially if you are a fish."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler ? Michael can actually finish a race off.."