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Joke of the Day

"Lorena Bobbit has died in a tragic car accident. Some dick cut her off."

"Why does it take longer to make a snow woman than a Snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"No, I don't hate you. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die."

"What do you call the Mother Superior of a corrupt convent? Nun the Wiser"

"My parent trap worked perfectly. I now have five parents."

"What do you call the accidental nuclear bombing of a furniture plant? Chairnobyl."

"Two blondes are driving. The first blonde asks, ""Is my blinker working?"" The second blonde checks the dashboard and responds, ""Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no."""

"*camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* ""It was a... shoeishide"""

"What's the difference between your mom and your dad? Your dad still sucks dick."

"Crocodile breaks into Florida store, steals sports drinks. It was a Gator-raid."