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Joke of the Day

"Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries? He always has plenty of double ""eh""s, triple ""eh""s..."

"If April showers bring May flowers... then May flowers bring Pilgrims."

"I Opened A Shelter Called ""Tempura House"" It's for lightly battered women."

"Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS."

"What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet? His Dookie Houser"

"Why did the police drop the charges against the man accused of being an olive branch? Because the charges wooden stick. My humblest apologies. * The case! Drop the case! Ah fuckit."

"My girlfriend's father asked me what I do... Apparently, ""your daughter"" was not the answer he wanted to hear."

"Welcome to AlzheimersAware.co.uk. Forgot your password? Of course you did."

"Remember folks, beauty... Is only a light switch away."

"[OC] Are vegetarians allowed to have pudding? If so how can they have pudding if they don't eat their meat?"