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Joke of the Day

"I wish my laundry was more like protein... so it would fold itself!"

"I dig, you dig, we dig. I dig, You dig, We dig, We dig, She dig, They dig. The poem may not be very beautiful, but at least it's deep."

"I recently joined a support group for people who peaked in high school. It's called Crossfit"

"That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter Pounder with cheese."

"Bought a new Shakespeare sat-nav - It gets me from A to B or not to B."

"If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?"

"The neck pillow I was using on the Greyhound bus turned out to be an adult diaper somebody left on the seat."

"Why does Reddit love Ronda Rousey so much? she hits women"

"Mattel released a Muslim Barbie... It's a blow-up doll."