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Joke of the Day

"Very Cheesy Joke Friend : Hey dude did you see that thing i posted on /r/pcmasterrace? Me : Yeah I ""readit"" (reddit)"

"I never point fingers at anyone. Though I do have a box of human fingers that I slingshot at people when I feel like blaming them for shit."

"Internet speeds would be a lot faster if it wasn't for all the bandwidth hogs watching their cats sleep by webcam."

"What's the best part about fucking twenty-two year old's? They are in their sexual prime."

"If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit."

"[restaurant] WAITER: And to drink? ME: I'll have a coke and a pepsi. WAITER: Is pep...um...Is cok...ok...Is...I...what.. *waiter spontaneously combusts*"

"They should have never given you girls fake eyelashes. This chick just blinked and it sounded like a flock of pigeons took off."

"Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug? Crack Rock."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel"

"If it ain't broke, I haven't borrowed it yet."