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Joke of the Day

"I never point fingers at anyone. Though I do have a box of human fingers that I slingshot at people when I feel like blaming them for shit."

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? 10: one to change it, one to post about it for karma and eight to repost it a few months later."

"What appears over black man's head when he has an idea? A fried Chicken leg"

"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"

"Chuck Norris' prostate is used to examine doctor's fingers."

"What are the two saddest words of the English Language? 'What party? '"

"Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of trousers In case they get a hole in one"

"Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne will wait until you're a teenager to come on your face"

"""Ducklings are baby ducks,"" I say as I set the appetizer on the table. ""Enjoy your dumplings, Ma'am."""

"Fitness coach: have you been exercising & doing push-ups? *Flashback to me running after the ice cream man & buying all the push-ups* ""yes"""