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Joke of the Day

"What's green and flies over Poland? Snotzis."

"I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?"

"If people were as passionate about world affairs as they are about their opinions on tattoos, we'd be on WWVIII by now."

"Hey Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sure Bert! XD"

"""Peanuts, big butts, M&M's, large butts, raisins, huge butts."" - Sir Trail Mix-a-Lot"

"So my friend and I were playing chess. I said ""why don't we make this interesting"" so we stopped playing. Credit - I can't remember which comedian I stole this off but i am sure reddit will know"

"How do you make a dog say meow? Put it in the freezer, then get a chainsaw and cut it. MEEEEEEEOOOWWW!!"

"The awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and can't do i"

"1000 pounds of oranges. is a ton of oranges."

"(nsfw) How do you know the female bartender is mad at you? There's a string in your bloody Mary"