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Joke of the Day
"(nsfw) How do you know the female bartender is mad at you? There's a string in your bloody Mary"
Next Joke
"What's a mole's favourite fruit? An Avagadro."
"Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly."
"Money is the root of all wealth."
"""What'd you do today"" ""Went on a treasure hunt"" ""I hope you mean job hunt"" ""Treasure hunt"" ""You need to find a job"" ""Not if I find treasure"""
"About to finish my second book of the day! And when I say book, I really mean magazine. And when I say magazine, I really mean pizza."
"Slept like a log last night..... Woke up in the fire place"
"Everton fan, Colonel Gaddafi's last wishes were that he should be buried in the number 18 Gascoigne shirt as he wanted to be buried in the Gaza strip."
"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."
"Today is World Alzheimer's Day! Just in case you forgot."