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Joke of the Day

"I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?"

"How does a whore relieve herself? She prosti-toots!"

"What do you call a porno with aliens in it? A science friction movie."

"What type of dog leaves a mark? shar pei"

"Why do vegans hate themselves? They are animal products."

"Japanese soccer. 'Murica, fuck yeah!"

"Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Punch his cousin"

"Every restroom says gentleman on it...since I'm a degenerate asshole I've been pissing in the trash cans outsidee them."

"Do you know how to cook toilet paper? Me either, but I know how to brown it on one side."