20515

Joke of the Day

"Today I met a guy who said he was a Premature Ejaculator He came out of nowhere"

"Did you hear the joke with the punchline that is invisible to idiots?"

"I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max."

"Time Machine I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore."

"Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, ""Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?"" and the other muffin says, ""AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"""

"Did you know that 50% of the Chinese have cataracts? The rest drive rincolns."

"Guy getting on elevator in my office building.."" Going Down?"" Me: ""No, but I've got time for a hug"""

"What do you call the queue of Software Engineers standing outside Heaven ? The Y2K deadline !"

"What do you call a dinosaur who just got out of a relationship? Tyrannosaurus Ex"

"Wow some neighbors really freak out when they wake up on a Sunday morning and find me making myself some pancakes in their kitchen"