205112
Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid"
Next Joke
"*opens up briefcase in court, revealing snakes* ""Wait. Then that means-"" [cut to my nemesis waking up surrounded by my opening statement]"
"Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes"
"What's worse than male chauvinists? Women who don't shut up."
"The ""Blind People Alphabet"" A, B, D, E, F..."
"A cube and a square are fighting. The cube says ""You're such a square, square."" Offended, the cube replies... Oh yeah? Well so's your FACE!!!!"
"Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity?"
"What's the difference between a gynecologist and a pedophile music teacher? The teacher fucks his singers, the gyno sucks his fingers."
"Blowjobs are like paying your taxes. If you don't do it, you are going to be fucked."
"Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained."