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Joke of the Day

"The ""Blind People Alphabet"" A, B, D, E, F..."

"""Snitches get stitches,"" I whisper to my 3 year old as he watches me brush Oreo crumbs from the bed sheets."

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."

"Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant."

"No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I'd go on a road trip with my mom."

"""Impeccable"" sounds like a general immunity to crow attacks..."

"If a... If a black bird brings black babies, and a blue bird brings blue babies.. What kind of bird brings no babies? A swallow."

"A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll."

"What is a shark's favorite illegal substance? Reefer!"

"I used to go out with a girl who had a wooden leg. Everything went smoothly, then I broke it off."