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Joke of the Day

"A cube and a square are fighting. The cube says ""You're such a square, square."" Offended, the cube replies... Oh yeah? Well so's your FACE!!!!"

"Sometimes It's nice just to sit with the person you love. But then it has to get all awkward and her husband is all ""Why you at our table?"""

"If Sean Connery starred in Interstellar... He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf."

"What do you call a really bad driver in France? A woman."

"Sex is like a cookie It's usually good, but most people like it better raw"

"I'm not saying Goldilocks was a piece of shit, but she broke into someone's house and just started eating their breakfast."

"Why should we all worship Jesus? Because he makes a bloody good wine."

"Accidentally left creatine out on the counter overnight and there's a bigass 3"" tall ant in my kitchen calling me bro now... scared to go in"

"So, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have split up! It's a bit of a Nightmare before Christmas."

"Why are criticisms of Donald Trump unfair? Because they always take his statements out of Kampftext."