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Joke of the Day

"If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool."

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"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away."

"Why did the mexican push his wife off the cliff? Because he wants tequila. Literally."

"i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp"

"Dead Alive Other"

"I was in work the other day when a stunning Thai girl walked in. She was gorgeous. all I could think was 'don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner.' She *did*."

"Have you heard about Samsung's new video game based on the Galaxy Note 7? They're calling it Mass Defect."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't gonna come."

"My Girlfriend is Like the square root of -100 A perfect ten, but completely imaginary."