205074

Joke of the Day

"Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... You've seen the mall."

"HELLO automatic flushing toilet!! I appreciate the enthusiasm but I really wasn't finished"

"""Oh, THANK GOD. I'm still a dog"" What dogs probably think when they wake up from one of their little nightmares"

"An Italian and a Greek get in a fight over sex Greek: the Greeks invented sex centuries before the Italians! Italians: maybe so but we improved on it by introducing it to women!"

"My girlfriend calls me the gas station... Because I have 6-10 pumps."

"I scream, you scream, this funeral just got more interesting."

"""This one's cute."" - me picking out a watermelon. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"I heard this song by the Righteous Brothers I cant remember what its called, but it was off the chain"

"What's a hard drive's favorite band? Data Remember"