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Joke of the Day

"What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach? You sand it!"

"Karma is like 69: ""You get, what you give"

"Documentaries must provide 90% of the employment for violin players."

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible."

"How come Noah didn't just slap those two mosquitoes?"

"Birthdays are good for you.... The more you have, the longer you live."

"Texas - A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9,600 in damages rather than serving a prison sentence. He gave the court a check--a forged check. He was sentenced to ten years."

"A programmer heads to the shops His wife says ""grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"" He comes home with twelve loaves of bread."

"Shout out to politicians for keeping the word ""folks"" alive."