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Joke of the Day
"What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach? You sand it!"
Next Joke
"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."
"If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family."
"Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me ""The defendant"" for a full day."
"I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine."
"Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting ? Pupil: Well yes he borrowed my pen !"
"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it."
"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer."
"A Bitter Cold Day Q: What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day? ... A: He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey"
"The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair."