205023

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me that I am immature and need to grow up Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore"

"What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?"

"Why was the rabbit hopping in circles? Because I shot its leg off."

"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it."

"What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race? A lap"

"today I matched speeds with a car on the highway so I could make eye contact with a dog in the backseat"

"I'm selling my talking parrot..... Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"Can a blind person please rub their hands over their dog's nipples and tell me what it says?"

"What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? I can sleep with a light on."

"What has mass but doesn't take up space? The Catholic religion"