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Joke of the Day

"Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa? The Middle. That way, you're always driving out of Iowa."

"I walked into a Jamaican cafe, I was hungry and a' thirstin'. I asked the barman for a tot of navy rum and a pie of some description. He said we got no rum and no pies, no rum and no pies."

"How many Brits does it take to change a broken lightbulb? None. They just move out of the house."

"Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green."

"I decided to put laxatives in my weed brownies... Just for shits and giggles!"

"I've been taking these pills that are supposed to make you live forever. So far, so good."

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Sorry, my cat walked on my keyboard and accidentally typed something Welsh."

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young? You have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth."

"I can't believe its pancake day again already.. It's really creped up on me!"

"I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial."