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Joke of the Day

"Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE"

"I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand. Well a pre-op Transsexual."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? Because he heard the Ref was blowing fowls!"

"What's brown and rhymes with 'snoop'? Dr. Dre"

"*gets crushed by a bus* *checks to see if phone is intact*"

"Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire."

"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"

"What did the policeman say to his stomach? Your under a vest"

"What is the friend zone? It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend."

"NASA Says Signs of Water Flowing on Mars, Possible Niches for Life Willing to take a bath in that following water in Mars."