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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people use words without knowing the meaning... gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head."

"So I work in a Steak House and all the people there are really lazy So I must say after working there: That it's rare to see a job well done"

"Girl at store thought CNN's Situation Room starred The Situation. No. Wolf Blitzer joins the cast of #jerseyshore next season."

"My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement"

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf."

"What is red... And smells like green paint? Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint? Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!"

"I was offered sex today... with a 21 year old and all I had to do was re-post a joke. I, of course, declined."

"Based on the number of AVI pics taken in your cars, I'm guessing that quite a few of you girls are on the run"

"If you want to hide something from me, put it on my voicemail."

"Why is steam such a hipster? Because it was water before it was cool."