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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if your sperm count is high? Your partner has to chew before they swallow."

"If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour."

"I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one."

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint."

"What's the best part of divorce? Two Kwanzaas"

"Are you an elixir? Because you made my PP go up."

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grraaaiinns"

"Five American states that vaguely resemble Indian cuisine when spelled backwards: Aksala, Nogero, Sasnakra, Ohadi, Hatu."

"I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50."

"Some guy at a party asked me, ""Who's cheese is on those chips?"" [Fixed] And I said, ""Well, obviously *na-chos*."" Get it? It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent."