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Joke of the Day

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint."

"One tectonic plate bumped into another and said..... ""Sorry, my fault."""

"I got fired from my job because I smile too much! I said, ""If I can't smile while I work then get yourself another funeral director!"""

"So a Priest says to a Rabbi.... ""Hey, we should go fuck those kids..."" and the Rabbi says: ""Outta what?"""

"Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal? They are both more enjoyable with dates!"

"Did you hear about the first time offender who was in to BDSM? He got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist."

"What do you get when you cross a rhino with an elephant? Hell-if-i-know (my grandma's favorite joke)"

"Life is not like a box of chocolates. It's more like not being allowed to leave the table until you finish your brussels sprouts."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the chambers."

"I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work... ...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive."