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Joke of the Day

"Every time I survive a sneeze while driving on the freeway it feels like I jumped out of a plane w/out a chute and lived."

"(NSFW) What did Isaac Newton's penis say to him when he first saw a girl's boobs ? Fuck your Gravity law man, I'm goin' up."

"Do you know the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke..."

"You say tomato, I say that's a weird thing to say for no reason. We were just sitting here quietly, and you're all ""tomato."" You can leave."

"What do you get hanging from apple trees? Sore Arms."

"What do you get when you throw a grenade into a french kitchen? Linoleum Blownapart"

"The fastest way to get karma is... ...is to make someone think they are learning how to get karma"

"do you know why its called pms? 'Cause mad cow was taken"

"Roses are red. Wine is red. Poems are hard. Wine."

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."