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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."

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"What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye."
"Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy... Lives in the White House."
"What should you do if you get an erection on the subway? Get off at the next stop!"
"So many Irish twins being born these days the numbers just keep Dublin up."
"Whats another name for google glass? Dome Chrome."
"I completely understand parents who choose not to vaccinate their children... ...because they all got vaccinated as children, and obviously turned out retarded."
"Today I heard a guy on the street say, ""It's chowder season, baby!"" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words"
"Someone with a knife exactly like the one I'm holding in my hand ruined my neighbor's inflatable Christmas lawn decorations."
"My costume budget is pretty slim, so I'm going as 'disinterested millennial' for Halloween this year."
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