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Joke of the Day

"Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it's ok to bite an opponent."

"Q:What did The Banana Say To the Vibrator? A:Why the fuck are you shaking, she's going to eat me!"

"The lesbian couple next door got me a Rolex for my birthday... I think they misheard me when I said ""I wanna watch"""

"What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game? First person shooter."

"Bill Cosby used to be my rolemodel... Until i found out he was a comedian."

"I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the neighbors."

"*stares into the abyss* *abyss pretends it's doing something on its phone*"

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is 'contempt' ME: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: [mocking voice] can you use it in a sentence?"

"One difference between Men & Women is nicknames. Woman: This is Michelle, we call her Shelly Man: This is Johnny, we call him Long Nuts"

"Why did 10 die? Because he was in the middle of 9/11"