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Joke of the Day
"My mating call in winter is just me shaving my legs."
Next Joke
"Just realised why careers advisors are shit they couldn't even pick their own career"
"I won't take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move."
"my Doctor told me i have to stop masturbating... ...because he cant concentrate i heard this a few years ago its probably been posted before but its pretty funny so enjoy :)"
"Why did princess Diana cross the road? because she wasn't wearing a seat belt"
"At the police station a) Somebody stole my wallet. b) When did this happen ? a) I don't know he also stole my watch."
"How is life at the post office going? It's going well I guess. It has its usps and it's downs. Edited for correctness"
"The Miami Dolphins...."
"Tickling my girlfriend and having sex with my girlfriend are kind of the same thing. She is always laughing at me and telling me to stop"
"No mister movie ticket guy that's not a bag of cheetos in my jacket that's my enlarged heart for the love of cinema"