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Joke of the Day

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? because she wasn't wearing a seat belt"

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"How do fish go into business ? The start on a small scale !"
"Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch? Because he had Somalia."
"I don't believe in horoscopes I'm leo, we're skeptical."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware issue."
"it's about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work."
"Just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock. It's not great, but it gets me out the house."
"Yo Mama so ugly, she has to use prescription make-up!"
"What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch? Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals."